When a beer spike has been driven into the top of your head, through your stomach, and out your bung hole -- you've been bitburgered "FAIR AND SQUARE."
Six foot long cylindrical lengths of treated lumber, spaced at eight foot intervals around the Cecil compound. Beverage Coasters also contribute to the support of slats and mesh which keep the hounds penned in. Cecil Beverage Coasters are useful and convenient while outdoors; when indoors Tim prefers fine antique furniture, if available, to prevent his drinks from hitting the floor.
Any of a variety of traditional American diningware, featuring the antics of Mr. Ronald McDonald. Commonly referred to in Cecil as McChina.
Something of great value to one person and worthless to another. The innocent need not know the origins of this term, the guilty know all too well. This can be used as the flip side to the "it'll burn" response.
Example:
Dennis: "Can I throw that on the fire?"
Jimbo: "Cupboard."
Dennis: "My mistake."
Having survived three solid days of Jimborama, consuming nothing but fries, crab balls, egg and cheese sandwiches, and 30 gallons of beer, you feel compelled to expel, but you sense perhaps that something more substantial may have occurred. "Oops, I think that was a full richy!" Webster's slang dictionary defines this sad occurrence as a "brewer's fart," but we use our own dictionary here abouts.
May be used at any time under any circumstances to accurately evaluate the cause of a recent catastrophe. As incredible as it might seem, and despite the fact that Dennis was holding a tree trunk over the remains of my shattered chiminea, it was in fact Tim's fault that it broke, though I think he was in California at the time.
The proper response to any question regarding the final dispensation of something.
Example:
Q "What should we do with this left over potato salad?"
A "It'll burn."
Destruction, usually through wanton violence. Although the bashing of larger bits into smaller bits with a 12-pound maul is kroning, the term is more traditionally descriptive of self-inflicted injury, as when the head of the maul flies off and hits you in the groin. Beware the words, "you've been kroned!" On quiet nights you can still hear Eric Kron's bones clacking like a croquet ball off a beer stump.
Comparable to a mulligan, invoked at the start of a croquet game if your first shot was a total cock up. Named for the Clintesque cop character on the Simpsons.
A scream of remorse, as when you just cocked up your first shot in a croquet game. First uttered by the Arnoldesque cop character on the Simpsons, when his gangster adversary killed his partner, who was just about to retire, if I recall correctly.
Quoting the Croquet Association : "If the player's ball hits another ball ('makes a roquet'), he places his own ball in contact with the other ball and then strikes his ball so that the other ball moves or shakes ('takes croquet'). After this the player is entitled to one further stroke." The placing of the foot over the striker's ball, during a typical sending operation, is optional, if a striker instead hits his and his opponent's ball together to achieve an advantageous position for both, he has performed a Patented Geckle. Named not for the inventor, but for he who happened to perfect this stroke.
A Cecil variant of the ancient sport of croquet. Traditionally played on manicured lawns by foppish aristocrats, this challenging game requires the skills of a golf pro and the cunning of a chess grand master. Cecil `Quet retains much of this proud tradition, yet adds to it a rougher terrain and relaxed boundaries. Bushy obstacles and Bistro pits abound, as well as other hazards such as falling chestnut burrs or wading pools, which all blend to make our game more manly. Cecil `Quet requires the power and precision of a polo player and the cunning of a blood thirsty big game hunter, blazing a trail through the Congo. Don't forget your pith helmet.
A tool used to fling dog crap over the fence, or to kill rats if necessary. Dennis has shown an uncanny ability in both these areas. His extraordinary achievements have only been surpassed by the late great Maggie dog, who, though specializing in crap creation, not removal, definitely surpassed everyone's rat totals. Before her final retirement I believe she took Dennis 5 to 3 during a particularly ratty Cecil afternoon.
An all-purpose trump used to end any and all arguments. May be used after several hours of bickering about whether Kirk would kick Picard's ass, or before an argument even gets started.
Example:
Jim: You know Sinclair ran a tight ship when he was in charge of Babylon 5.
Rich: Are you crazy blah blah blah
Jim: Titanic. Where's the bottle opener?
(actually a half-yard) An extremely tall glass which receives the first outpourings from the keg, and when passed around signals the start of another Jimborama.
Ubiquitous response made common through over use, primarily by Dennis.
Example:
Tim: A Guinness dump is as black as Satan's hoof.
Dennis: Your mother's ass is as black as Satan's hoof.
Tim: Keep Satan's hoof out of this! |
